TODAY IS TOMORROW

Posted on 13/06/201813/06/2018 by Nadia Roland

Breakfast time: my 4 year-old suddenly stops drinking his milk and asks:

“Mom, today is tomorrow?”

“No sweetie, today is today, tomorrow is tomorrow”

(need a coffee? how’s that for an answer uh? let’s give it another try, would you?)

“.. I mean… today is now, tomorrow is after your night sleep” (slightly better..)

“So I sleep another night and then it’s tomorrow?”

“Yes, exactly”

“Another night?”

“What do you mean another night?”

“Yesterday, you said that after one night sleep it’s tomorrow… so why today is not tomorrow and I have to sleep again to be tomorrow?”

“No, what I meant is that… uhm.. actually yes, today is tomorrow of yesterday…”

“So tomorrow of yesterday is today…”

(this is getting complicated…)

“Well yes, sweetheart, every day is today and the next day is called tomorrow but when we get to tomorrow it becomes today.. ”

(I so want out of this conversation… )

After a moment of silent reflection, he draws his conclusion: “so it’s never tomorrow, it’s always today”

(Ok, let’s start this over again…)

“What’s up sweetie, why do you ask this?”

“Because yesterday you said that tomorrow I can have a candy for breakfast”

“Oh..! I see… Yes it’s true, you can have a candy now”

“So, today is tomorrow?”

“Mmm, yes, well.. in a way.. today is tomorrow indeed”

And there you go… he looks at me with that little air of deserved triumph on his face.

I definetly need a coffee. This is gonna be a long day.

WHERE WAS I?

Posted on 12/05/201815/05/2018 by Nadia Roland

My 4 year old boy comes to me with a picture in his hand. He must have found it in one of our messy drawers around the house: you know… those wonderful entropic places which reorganizing is constantly number one of your to-do list? The picture dates back to when my daughter was a newborn, her big brother (2 years-old back then) was pushing her stroller.

“Mommy who is this baby? It’s me?”

“No, sweetie, this is your sister, when she was born, see how cute she is?”

He breathes, thinkingly.

“And this little boy? It’s me?”

“No, sweetie, this is your big brother: see how little he was back then?”

He pauses, pretty pensive, then asks: “Where was I?”

“Well, you weren’t there” (duh!)

“Where was I?” (void answer deserves reiterating question)

” Well, you.. weren’t born yet”

“So, where was I? In your belly?” (this is getting complicated)

“Well no you weren’t yet in my belly either…”

“So, where was I?”

Here you go: I’m faced with the unanswerable philosophcal question of all times and I only have a fraction of a second to respond. What do I do? I’m tempted to buy some time by telling something like “that’s a very good question”… but this reminds me so much of my teacher, in primary school. When she used to say that, I use to think “ok, she doesn’t know”.

So maybe I should just be telling my son the plain truth in simple modest words and humbly admit “I don’t know”… But wouldn’t I disappoint him? Isn’t mommy supposed to know “everything”? Plus, what kind of mother am I? Not knowing where my son was? I could try to let go the guilt by clarifying that “In fact nobody really knows…”. But this would sound so much as a “it’s-not-just-me” excuse…

And if I opted for “It’s a mystery…” wouldn’t this destabilize him even more? Isn’t it too soon to give him the sense of the uncertainty of life and the precarity of our human condition?

So here I am, feeling the urge to come up with a “proper, acceptable” answer to the inexplicable. I want it to be romantic, yet rational, reassuring but somehow true (or at least not totally untrue). Eventually I come up with:

“Sweetie, you were not in my belly yet, you were still in my heart, you were in the hearts of mommy and dad”.

I hug him and give him a kiss. I must say, I’m pretty proud of my answer…

But then comes his comment: “I was in your heart?? With all the blood? HOW GROSS!”

“DARK” VADER

Posted on 23/08/201612/05/2018 by Nadia Roland

Star Wars is everywhere. Huge posters are found all around town, figurines, stickers, lego kits for all ages, gadgets of all types. The most disturbing thing is that a large part of this merchandising eventually glorifies the dark side of the force. For one, Darth Vader and the Sith get much more visibility than the Jedis in any toys’ shop. For two, let’s take a honest look at the attires. Between the monastic Jedis’ robe and Vader’s hematite fancy armored suit… you have a doubt on which costume your kid would choose? Sure, you would hope the kid would go for the simplicity of the Jedi’s apparel, symbolic of selfless compassion and a life of modesty and humility… But the odds are, Vader’s fearsome outfit wins the contest. After all why would you want to project humility and selflessness when you can project physical strength, intimidation and control?

So the inevitable happens: one day, your 5 year-old kid drags you in that kind of conversation:

“Mom, I wanna be like Dark Vader”.

“What??”

“Yes, I wanna be Dark Vader, he’s cool”

“Sweetie, you don’t even know who he is…”

“Yes I know! It’s the man in black with a laser sword”

“It’s called a lightsaber” (great, now I’m a Star Wars expert)

“Wow! Can you buy me a lightsaver like Dark Vader?”

“It’s DarTH Vader and a lightsaBer and he’s mean and you don’t want to be like him”

“Yeees! I wanna be like him, Darth Vader is my favorite superhero”

“Darth Vader is not a superhero…”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because… I know the story, I saw the movie” (good job, now I’m doomed)

“Can I watch the movie?” (see?)

“No… it’s not a movie for children your age”

“ok, then… Can you tell me the story” (he’s got a point)

Easier said than done. Where to begin and how to introduce the characters without watching the movie? I looked around for an illustrated book, but wasn’t happy with those I found… Then I thought of printing the pictures of the various characters… so I could use them as flash cards and show him who was Luke, Leia, Han Solo as I unfolded the story. Eventually, I ended up printing over 400 screen shots of EPISODE IV, and put them together in a what now resembles to a photobook (pdf available here, in case you want to use it with your kid and don’t feel like printing 400 screen shots… episode IV part 1 and episode IV part 2).

We’ve gone over the story again and again since then… Yesterday my kid said he wants to become a Jedi.

Mission accomplished.

SalvaSalva